Pool Area and Trophy Display

[Boikat]

Tipper looked at Boikat, "Males!"

Boikat blinked again, looked around, "Where the what who?"

"We're back on the Eldorado and I've made an anti-toxin for the flying jellofish venom." said Tipper as she held up the stinger.

"Oh" said Boikat, as he rolled over and stood up. Then he fell on his face as he tried to walk because he had not pulled up his trousers.

"Ow."

"You just stay here and get your brain together while I go upto the bridge and give Maggy a shot of anti-venom. Also, Tucker is missing."

Boikat Stood and pulled up his britches, "Tucker is missing?"

"I looked for him when we got back and there's no sign of him. Do you think he wandered off into the desert?"

"I have no idea." said the felid as he sat down, his head was still spinning, slightly.

"We'll worry about that later then. You stay here while I take care of Maggy." Tipper left and Boikat looked around as the room seemed to be spinning to the left.

***********

About five minutes later, Tipper'G stepped into the bridge, looked around and called out, "Tucker?" Still no answer. Moving over to the sleeping Maggy, Tipper lifted the sleeping feline, flipped her face down, and without cerimony pulled down her trousers, then saw the glittering reminants of a flying jellofish tendril on the seat.

"I guess that explains why you made it this far..." Tipper jabbed Maggy in the butt with the anti-venom stinger, then took a few steps back. A few seconds later, an ear twitched, then both ears twitched, and Maggy produced the signature cat yawn, jaws opening a full ninty degrees. Her eyes opened, and as she worked her mouth to get rid it of ten years of sleep induced halitosis, she blinked and looked around. Catching sight of Tipper, she said, "Who the hell are you?"

[Boikat]

"Drat!" exclaimed Qray as his Kill-O-Zap made a fizzing noise and died.

The current Marlin incarnation stepped ove a heap of smoldering predicessors and asked, "Is there a problem sir?"

"Yes. The batteryfor my Kill-O-Zap died." Q sighed. "Oh well, I was getting bored anyway. Set course for Bob."

"Bob?" asked the droid.

"Yes. Bob." said Qray. "It's been a while since I soaked my feet in the vodka oceans, and I'm almost out of Stoli."

Marlin dithered a bit, then said, "I asked the central NavComp to set course for Bob, but it said, 'Bob?' I do not think it knows where Bob is, or who, for that matter. Is Bob a vodka distributer?"

"No, Bob is a Vodka planet near the Orion Nebula. Just get us in the neighborhood of the Orion Nebula, and we can find Biob easy enough." said the rogue.

"The Orion Nebula?" The droid was quiet for about five seconds, "The NavComp has no record of an 'Orion Nebula'."

Q smacked his forehead, "Okay, have the NavCom connect to the station's stellar cartography computer, remap the local galaxy, and then I'll show you were to go."

"As you command, sir"

[Merle]

Back in the PATD, Merle and Nommy were watching the goings on on the big screen, feet up, chugging Sam Adams Boston Ale. Angry Bear and Sammy Bear were planning their next fishing expedition. Cloney polished the bar for the umpteenth time.

"Do you know what's going on?". Nommy drained his enchanted beer mug, the one Sindatur gave him, that automatically refills itself.

"Nope," said Merle. "Not the foggiest."

"Should we help?"

"Nah, looks like they got it under control."

Nommy shrugged and took another drink. "When's football season?"

[Boikat]

Boikat stumbled into the corridor, and whobbled his way towards the end passage where the lifts were located. Along the way, he passed a hatch that was slightly ajar, and closed it. An unlatched hatch is an annoyance on a spacecraft, since any sudden change in acceleration could cause it to flip open just when someone could be walking by. As the latch clicked, he heard a muffled "gasping" noise. Stepping back, he cautiously opened the hatch and looked inside. The hatch was to a maintenance closet, where various maintenance items were stord. Mop, mop buckets, brooms, vaccuum cleaners, and so on. It also presently was storing Tucker.

"Tucker?"

"Is the ghost gone?"

Boikat looked up and down the corridor. "Ghost?"

"The one who borrowed your ship."

"Borrowed... My ship? The 'Pearl?" Boikat started to feel dizzy again.

"Yup. That ghost. Is he still here?"

"Tell me about this ghost..."

"Well, he said he borrowed you ship. Then he said you could pick up a new ship on Tau Taurus.. something." said Tucker.

"Gunfur!"

[Boikat]

"We're going to have to reset the primaries..." said Maggy as she went through a quick inspection of the Eldorado's systems.

Tipper looked at her, "Do you know how long you were asleep?"

Maggy shook her head, "No, and I don't care. All I care about right now is that The 'Big L' is falling apart. Be a dear and stay out of my way." the female felid growled as she move past Tipper to check the status of the life support system.

"Ten years, or so."

Maggy froze, then looked at Tipper sideways. "Ten years?" She shook her head and went back to checking the life support's sub systems. "I guess I can kiss my 'on schedule' bonus goodbye."

Tipper was about to say something when Maggy let out a hiss, "Crud! The bio-screens are shot, the atmo-filters are clogged, and the O2 generators are depleated!"

Boikat and Tucker entered the bridge, and Tucker said, "Maggy! You woke up!" and displayed a gap-toothed grin.

Maggy looked at Tucker, "I guess the ship isn't the only thing falling apart." Then she locked eyes on Boikat. "Who the hell are you?"

"Boikat. I am with her" he said, nodding towards Tipper.

Meanwhile, Tucker went to a service nitche and after poking a few buttons, turned and offered Maggy a cup of warm cream with a dash of coffee, and another toothy grin.

Maggy looked at him, then back at Tipper. "Ten years?"

[Nomad]

Nomad was enjoying his new auto-fill of Sammy and the company of his friend Merle. He suddenly had a look on his face and reached into hids pocket. " Whats up Nommy?", asked Merle.

Nommy pulled out his KoL (Key of light) and mumbled..."Something is amiss".

"What?", replied Merle.

"Not sure, but as is the usual case with this..tI'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

Merle nodded in agreement and took a swig of his drink.

[Boikat]

Several hours later....

Maggy looked up from a monitor and said, "Try again."

Down in the bowels of the Eldorado, Boikat swung a hammer and hit the casing of a circulation pump. After a few whacks, a slow rythmic "squeak" could be heard, that increased in frequency, evened out and died down. After that the pump only emitted a low hum.

Boikat went over to a wall mounted incom panel and pressed the "talk" button. "I think it's working now."

Maggy's voice came back, "It's going green, We have O2. Now, check the relief valve for the water reclaimation tank."

"Where's that at?" asked Boikat as he looked around.

"It should be right above your head..."

Boikat looked up and saw what looked like a valve, reached up and felt a small lever and pulled...

"...but be careful, it may be under pressure..."

A jet of really smelly fluid hit Boikat full in the face.

"Ptttt! Ptttt! Ptttt!" Boikat sputtered. "Yah, I'll be careful...."

***********************

"Q, the storm troopers are revolting." Veneno reported

"So, what else is new?" asked the Rogue.

"Well, shouldn't you do something, like tell the pilot and navigation crew to move this tub someplace where we can either conquer a planet or landscape a continent?"

Q paused as he was about to putt a small white ball into the flight deck well of the bridge, "Which do you think is more profitable? What would be the social /political implication of conquest by grounds keepers? What about Bob?"

"Any place to let the boys out. Besides, I don't think you realized it yet, but WildCard and I appear to be the only two females on this thing."

Q tapped the ball with a putter, it rolled into the flight pit, there was a "thop" followed by an, "Ouch! Where'd this come from?"

Q thought for a second, "Nav, have you found the do-ordinates for Bob yet?"

A voice came out of the pit, "Yes, it's coming through now, sir!"

"Good! Make course and set sail!"

"Set sail?"

"Make it so! Engage! Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!"

"Ummm....?"

"Make it go fast now!"

"Oh! Yes sir!"

[Qray]

Sith Recruit: Do you know how many sith there are on this planet?
Jolee Bindo: Twelve! No, wait! Thirteen!

“So why do you think this space station was built?” Veneno asked as her and WildCard watched while Q tried to figure out a way to plug his Kil-O-Zap into the head of the most recently arrived Marlin android.

“Blow up planets, intimidate local star systems,” WildCard shrugged. “Or perhaps the Emperor needed a really big continental landscaping trowel.”

“I get that,” Veneno said as there was an audible click from Q’s Kil-O-Zap and Marlin began to run around in circles with the gun attached to his forehead.

“It burns! It burns!”

“And,” Veneno continued. “I get having Slarti build it. After I found my lightsaber, I did some research into the society that created it. If my recollection of history is correct, the first two previous space stations of this design were discovered and destroyed by Rebel forces.”

“It’s charging!” Q told the bot. “Don’t touch it.”

“But?” WildCard asked.

“But,” Veneno said as Marlin ran past her. “I don’t know. Something just doesn’t seem right here. Something about this entire situation seems, I don’t know...odd.”

From behind the red, bullet-shaped helmet she wore, WildCard watched Marlin running around the command room screaming with a charging Kil-O-Zap attached to his forehead. She saw a black robed, Green Bay Packer helmeted Q send another putt into the Nav pit to the accompaniment of a rather loud “OW! While she and Veneno where dressed either as the color red, or as some bizarre, over-sized adult toys. All while the moon sized space station wizzed through hyperspace.

“Can’t imagine why,” the cardweaver muttered.

[Merle]

Back home, Nommy’s Key of Light started to vibrate. Trouble! He thought. He switched on the beam, and shown it on a puddle of water. In it, he saw the familiar sight of Cloney polishing the bar, though with a more than usually concerned look on his face.

With a heavy sigh, Nommy stepped into the puddle, and into the PATD. After a brief moment to reorient himself, he looked around. Yup, Cloney was polishing the bar for the umpteenth time. Looking around, he noticed Angry Bear and Sammy Bear chugging brews and playing darts. Meaning they were throwing darts at Cloney, each other, a cloaked figure tinkering with something…. In other words, mostly the usual. Nommy looked back at Cloney, catching his eye. Cloney gave a meaningful look at the cloaked figure.

Nommy walked over to the table, to discover Merle tinkering with-

“Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Merle! That’s the Quantum Improbability Drive!”

Without looking up, Merle giggled. “Hiya Nommy. Get me a Sammy will ya?”

“But that’s the Quantum Improbability Drive! Isn’t there a note on that that says, ‘never ever ever touch this?’”

“Yeah,” said Merle, absentmindedly kicking a piece of paper with a scrawl in Azziz’s handwriting that said, “Never ever ever touch this.”

“But you’re touching it! Stop!”

“Stopping would be counterproductive at this point.”

“I’m getting out of here. Last time someone played with that thing, well, I thought I’d never get the glitter out of my nose!”

“Yeah, you made a spectacular Carnivale dancer.” Merle giggled again. “But, I think you should join me. This will be. . . fun.”

“Merle, the thing about the improbability drive is it is . . . “

“Improbable? Unpredictable? True. But consider the Ghostwheel.”

“What about the Ghostwheel? It’s a magical artifact that lets you travel between worlds and alternate realities. Right?”

“Yes and no. The Ghostwheel first and foremost is a super computer. I constructed it. I programmed it. I included magical properties that work in the universe in which it exists.”

“I’m still not getting it.”

“No, you aren’t. Where’s my Sammy?”

Nommy clucked his tongue and went to the bar, where Cloney slid two frosty mugs of Sam Adams Lager at Nommy.

Nommy sat down at Merle’s table, watching as Merle now was typing into a keyboard he had attached to the QID.

“Okay, so you built a magical computer. What does that have to do with the QID?”

“Think about it. In fact, I was reminiscing over New Year’s Eve about some of our past glorious adventures, and I thought about it. Ghostwheel is based upon the idea that any reality is possible. Ghostwheel will take you to that reality, wherever it is. The QID on the other hand creates realities. It makes a new reality around you.”

“Ah,” said Nommy. “But Ghostwheel is predictable. You tell it where to take you, and away you go.”

“True, but the realities are at times quite Improbable.” Merle lowered his voice to a whisper. “In actuality, the two machines are very similar in operation.”

“Why are we whispering?” Whispered Nommy.

“Because Ghost would be quite jealous. I don’t want him to hear me. He can be rather petulant. There are places I’d rather not visit involuntarily, if you catch my drift.”

Nommy nodded, and took a long pull on his beer. Merle stopped his key tapping to do the same. “Just a few more lines, and we’ll be ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“Hoom! Hom! That would be telling!” Merle kept tapping. Then with a final keystroke, he declared, “There!”

“There, what?”

“Heehee! You’ll see! I think you’ll really enjoy this!”

Merle grabbed a bucket of water Angry had been using to mop the floor earlier, and overturned it. “Nommy, concentrate on Q, and do your thing for us.”

Having missed quite a few adventures recently, Nommy complied. In moments the KoL was humming, and a vision of Q, Veneno and Wildcard on the bridge of the Imperial Death Star appeared. Merle picked up the QID, and the two stepped into the puddle-

And onto the bridge of the death star.

“Hi guys!” shouted Nommy.

Remarkably unalarmed, Veneno muttered, “bugger.”

“Glad to see you, too, V,” smiled Merle. “Who wants to have some fun?”

And before Q and Wildcard could say “OhMyGawdDon’tDoThatWhatTheFrack’sWrongWithYou?” Merle had, a la Max and Professor Fate, pushed the button.

There was a slight ripple, and then Q was looking wildly around, “not the Stoli! Not the Stoli!” Likewise panicked, WildCard was running circles around herself, “Not a tail, not a tail, I hate tails!”

“What’s wrong with you two?” Snapped Veneno.

“Quantum Improbability Drive!” Shouted Card, still chasing her nonexistent tail. “I really don’t want a tail! And it always gives me precisely what I don’t want.”

“Relax,” smirked Merle. “It won’t affect you guys. But I think something remarkable awaits on that planet we’re orbiting.” Merle’s smile reassured no one. After all, they’d all, absent Veneno, had way too much experience with the QID. “I’ve, um, tweaked it a bit.” They noted the screen for the first time, and saw that they were no longer whizzing through hyper space.

“Merle, what have you done? Is there a giant Stay Puft Marshmallow man on that planet?” Asked Q.

“Um, no, but that’s great idea for next time!” Merle made a gesture, and QID shrunk to miniature, and then slipped into his pocket.

“So where’s the shuttle bay?”

Veneno led them down to an Imperial Shuttle, and in a few hours the five of them were on the planet, Merle having instructed Veneno where to set down.

“Just through those trees, my friends.” Merle gestured, then led the way.

Q checked the charge on his Kil-O-Zap. WildCard was shuffling her deck, ready for anything. Veneno just looked menacing, while Nommy remained puzzled, but with his KoL handy.

Through the trees, they started to hear some familiar music. That combat music they always used on Star Trek, TOS, whenever Kirk was fighting something like the Gorn.

Merle was grinning broadly as they entered an arena, and led them all right down front. A Gorn wrestling match was just concluding and the combatants were being pulled from the stage. A gong rang out. Two women were shoved out from opposite sides. In skimpy bikinis.

“Orion Slave Girls!” shouted Nommy. Merle didn’t even mind that WildCard had slapped him hard in the back of his head.

Most strangely, however, Q was shouting, “my eyes! My eyes!”

Yep, you guessed it. The two skimpily clad green skinned warriors were none other than ProfCrash and Meribor.

[Boikat]

On the bridge of the Eldorado, Maggy increased the power to the ships' drive, and everyone felt the deck plates vibrate.

"We're still not moving" commented Boikat as he studied the navigation readouts.

Maggy continued to increase power, and the vibrations increased.

"There's some sort of warning flashing over here" said Tipper. "Hull stress increasing...."

Maggy increased power again and now various rattling noises filled the bridge as the huge cargo ship began to violenty shake.

"I think we're stuck" said Tucker.

Maggy pushed the power levers to their stops. With a final sudden shudder, the Eldorado broke free of the sands that had covered the landing pads, and the ship started to accelerate. Maggy's paws swiftly cut back on the throttles, and closed the landing gear retraction switch, then moved swiftly to trim the flight path of the ship as it arced into the sky than began to nose down, then back up before leveling out.

"In the sky, again!" Maggy said. "Inputing course, 83 Leonis C Beta Minor..."

"What's there?" asked Tipper.

"That was our next stop before the survey team demanded we set down on this rock." said Maggy.

"Umm, any chance we could swing by Tau Taurus first?" asked Boikat.

"Not a chance. You guys are along for the ride until you can jump another ship." said Maggy as she finished setting the ships' hyper drive nav course." She looked at Boikat, "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"Well...." Seeing the look in Maggy's eyes, Boikat said, "No."

"Good" said Maggy as she engaged the hyperdrive.

[Boikat]

83 Leonis C Beta Minor, otherwise known as Remulak, appeared in the viewscreen as the Eldorado exited hyperspace. Remulak was a habitable moon in orbit around an uninhabitable ball of ice, called Brrrrr, that orbited a noxious gas planet called Stinky. Offworlders wondered why Remulak was not called "Useless Ball of Dirt".

"Eldorado to Remulak Orbit Control....." There was no answer. "Eldorado to Remulak Orbit Control."

There was a crackle and then a nasal sounding and stiffly inflected voice said, "Greetings Eldorado. We have no record of your pending arrival. Please advise or we will blow you up."

"Check records from about ten standard years ago. We were... delayed" said Maggy.

There was silence for a moment. "Ah. Yes. Mmmm. Yes, I have located the record in question. Advance and follow the Follow Me Orbital Tender to your assigned docking spot and be prepaired to pay the docking fee and fine. That is all."

Maggy keyed the mike. "Fine?"

There was no answer, instead the forward view port was lit up as a cone shaped craft moved into view and began flashing a red strobe light.

"That must be the 'Follow Me' tender" said Boikat. "What did he mean by 'fine'?"

Maggy shook her head. "New one on me, but the Conies have a reputation for being opertunistic. You two better stay put while we're here. Their local police also have a habit of making up laws on the spot. That includes space port security cops"

"Sounds like a wonderful place." said Tipper.

The com crackled. "Advance to Docking port Zed 20." and then cut off.

In the view port, an oval port appeared as the tender ship veered off. Flashing green arrows pointed at the opening.

Maggy gently tapped the thruster controls and nosed the Eldorado into the opening. There was a "clang" as docking arms reached out and grabbed the cargo ship, and then moved it deeper into the opening. Maggy took her hands off the controls. "Wonderful."

******************************

A human in an impeccably taylored black suit cleared his throat, "Excuse me Highmaster! Your Excellency, the ship with your cargo of Trojan chewing gum has arrived."

"Mepps! Mepps! The shipment is late. Where is the ship now? Summon the Thug Squad! Bring the crew here. Now. Now! Mepps! Mepps!

"As you wish, Highmaster." The human nodded to a lacky, who promptly ran off to follow the Highmaster's orders.

[Boikat]

No sooner than the Edorado was locked down by the port docking gantrys, a sleek Remulakian currier ship settled down next to her. A dozen, larger than normal, Remulakians dressed in black combat armer, marched out of it's main boarding ramp and marched straight to the Eldorado's main airlock. Maggy noticed the activity from the bridge on a monitor.

"That doesn't look good" said Boikat.

There was a chime as the apparent leader of the squad pushed the external intercom buttons. "Greatings. We are here to provide an armed escort, by special invitation, to an audiance with the Highmaster. Please exit your space craft, with your hands on your heads, fingers interlocked, immediately. Failure to comply will be.... regretable."

"That doesn't sound good." said Tipper'G.

Again, the intercom chimed. "We are waiting."

"He talks funny." said Tucker.

Maggy pressed a button, "We're on our way."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" asked Boikat.

"What choice do we have. Untill we find out what's going on, we're not going anywhere." As she was talking, her furry fingers danced over a display of the cargo manifest. "Tucker, retrieve the ... This can't be right..." She double checked, then shrugged. "Get the carton from cargo pod Alpha twenty nine."

Tucker nodded, "Okay, Maggy", and left the bridge.

***************************************

Less than five minutes later, as Maggy, Boikat and Tipper'G waited at the airlock, Tucker arrived carrying a black cardcoard box with a styalized horse head on the sides that said "Trogan". Maggy touched the hatch control, and as soon as it opened, the "escort squad" rushed in, and the four found themselves knocked over, immoblized and trussed up.

"I would say, 'This is another fine mess'..." said Boikat, as they were hoisted up and the squad started to carry them off the Eldorado. The apparent leader of the "escorts" bent and picked up the carton that Tucker had been holding.

************************************

The Highmaster was drumming his fingers impatiently wen the human in the business suit entered the Great Hall at a hurried pace. "Highmaster, the crew of the ship has arrived," he said as the doors to the Great Hall opened and the Thug Squad carried the four in. The leader carried the black carton, and when he reached the Highmaster's throne, bowed and held the carton out to the Highmaster.

"Ah. About time." the Highmaster said as he grabbed the carton.

"What's the meaning of this?" asked Maggy.

"Silence!" barked the Highmaster. "The delay in delivery of the Earth chewing gum has caused us great displeasure. For displeasing the Highmaster, the penalty is .." The highmaster looked around, "... You must all....Narfle the Garthok!"

There were approving mumbles from the Thug Squad and a few other Remulakians in the Great Hall.

The black suited human leaned over, "The Garthak met it's demise some time ago, Highmaster, at the hands of Beldar, who perished when he led the invasion fleet to conquer the home planet of the blunt skulls Perhaps...."

"Um... Yes. Fortunate that they still manage to produce chewing gum..... "

The human leaned over and said, "Perhaps some other form of punishment? Might I suggest the Pinacles of Peril, or the Frozen Pits of Pandemonium?"

The right hand of the Highmaster shot up and grabbed the humans' black buisness tie, and pulled him closer, "Eli Turnbull, if you do not quit expectorating in my ear, I shall have you drawn and quarted and fed to the Garthok!"

"The Garthok is dead, Highmaster."

"Oh. Well then.. To the Pinacles of Perile then!"

"A wise choice, Highmaster." said the human.

The Highmaster nodded to the leader of the Thug Squad, then nodded towards the human standing next to the throne. "Him too."

"They shall regret.." started the human, "Huh?"