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Posted By: Aldan Feb 05, 2005 - 04:58 pm

In the story I'm writing currently (my first novel attempt), due to the rules of one society, only people of that race are allowed entrance into the kingdom. Only my MC is of that race (but not really - it's complicated), and able to go there and she needs to go there, but how do I do such a transition when all through many previous chapters I was building up the character party? I wish to create wonder in the transition, not a jarring effect, and I can't quite figure out how to accomplish this without another character who'd also NOT been there before to bounce the emotional effects off of...

The one lesser character who is with her has lived there or very near there all of his life, and hasn't ever seen anyone enter the kingdom who hadn't been there before, so I am stuck!

Posted By: Aldan Feb 05, 2005 - 05:00 pm

Oh, by the way, I'm working in third person limited omniscient in the story, but the limited portion is much stronger than the omniscience.

Posted By: Magus Feb 05, 2005 - 06:35 pm

How long is she going to need to stay in the city, and for what purpose exactly. If the need is dire enough then maybe they could simply split up.

But another idea could be trying to disguise the party all of being of that race. Then they could be found out in transit and the MC and maybe another could flee from custody while the others are jailed. Then they could do their business in the city but, at the same time, need to worry about springing the others free.

Or maybe they take the first idea and split up. But then one of the characters disguises him/herself and manages to get into the city.

Does any of this help?

Posted By: Aldan Feb 06, 2005 - 09:42 am

I'm afraid that the second idea wouldn't work at all, due to the fact that the guide character is a retired diplomat with a long history of working for the kingdom, who loves the place and his daughter's with the group. His daughter's only a half-blood, though, so she can't go legally and the father wouldn't put her into that sort of danger. You see, that racial ban is on pain of instant death. If they're caught, they'll die. Actually, I have some of them coming back later and actually entering the kingdom, but the reason is much more acute. In this case all the MC is going there for is needed information.

Posted By: gnollslayer Feb 06, 2005 - 12:10 pm

In my first novel I had a similar situation. There was no segregation behind the split, but one member of the party couldn't go into the city because there was a warrant out for his arrest. So, the other two went in because they needed to find the fourth member of their party, whom they'd received word would be waiting for them in this place.

My suggestion is to have them come as close to the city as they can, and then the others stay behind while the guide character goes in to get the information he needs. Then you can split scenes between the MC and the rest of the party, wieghting the narrative more heavily in the former's favor.

Posted By: Magus Feb 06, 2005 - 01:16 pm

O.K. I see.

Yeah, then I'd say the same thing as Gnollslayer did. Have him go into the city and focus primatily on him. But then occasionally show small snip-bits from the rest of the party.

Posted By: Aldan Feb 06, 2005 - 08:14 pm

That's how I have it set up. It's an elven kingdom, in a gigantic forest, and there's a human town on the outskirts of the forest that's the home to one of my lesser characters. Her father is the retired Elven diplomat and her mother a human. The rest of the party will be staying in that town, but she will go in with just the diplomat, and will have to travel a couple of days to get to the capitol city.

Physically, she's an Elf, but emotionally and mentally, she's not. She has no memories of her life previous to three years before arriving at the elven forest.

Posted By: BenJaru Feb 07, 2005 - 05:50 am

I get everything but the transition part. What exactly do you mean?

Do you mean telling the story between two "groups" instead of one? I guess I don't quite get it!

[I removed the extra post. Bmat]

Posted By: Aldan Feb 07, 2005 - 08:26 pm

To reiterate, my problem is that during the first part of the book, I'm slowly building a character "party"... and then right when I get all the pieces of the party together, I have to seperate them for a chapter or two. Because the story is third person limited, and is focused on the MC (at least at this time, though I may change that to an extent), when she leaves the party to go with one of the other characters' father into the Elven Forest, she doesn't have anyone to share her wonder with. The father grew up there, and everyone he's ever known that had been there had also grown up there, so he would just not understand, and may even scoff at her reaction to it. Now, while I could go with this, and I may, now that I think about it, it seems that it still wouldn't really get across the true wonder/beauty/spectacularness/greatness of her experience.

She absolutely has to go into this location, as a very important part of the plot takes place there, and none of the other major characters can go with her, because of the Elven Law which gives death as the cost of a non-Elf entering the Elven Forest.

Posted By: Magus Feb 08, 2005 - 01:12 pm

Hmmmm... so then the rest of the party is screwed. Well, do what must be done. That's really the best advice I can give. Do what must be done.

Posted By: Aldan Feb 08, 2005 - 08:11 pm

Really, while the other characters are screwed, to an extent, except for the exiled elf, most didn't expect to be able to enter anyway, so it's not even disappointment really. Instead you could almost call it a shoulder shrug reaction. They are staying at the half Elf's parents' home, listening to her famous mother's stories and songs, and recovering from their injuries while enjoying the good food and pleasant atmosphere...

Posted By: BenJaru Feb 09, 2005 - 05:07 am

Well... I suppose you could have her entrance into the city happen at the same time as... GAH!

What you need to do is introduce another character. An elf who befriends her, maybe have that elf only play a minor role, but show up later anyway to show that s/he was not merely a contrivence...

Better yet an elf outcast that has not seen his home for many years. Or an elf who was enslaved by some evil faction/person when he was very young, but just escaped, and wants to keep a low profile because of the disgrace of having been a slave etc.

If she travels the forest with somone, that somone has to be an elf, correct?

I hope that helps, at least a little.

Posted By: Magus Feb 09, 2005 - 01:05 pm

I agree with BenJaru... I think he may have solve the cunundrum. Have her befriend another elf... maybe one who oogles her while she stares at the city in breathless awe.

Posted By: Aldan Feb 09, 2005 - 08:01 pm

The city AND the Elven Forest itself (The forest is filled with trees 50 - 200 ft tall, and is a place in which various fae creatures dwell). That seems like a pretty good idea. Perhaps what I could do is in the second book in this short series I have planned, use that "contrivance" Elf as a major character. I'll have to try to come up with a personality, et al now. It's going to take some work, but that work is fun work. THANKS!

YAY BENJARU!!!

Posted By: BenJaru Feb 10, 2005 - 10:51 am

You are welcome Aldan!
Lol, now I got to tackle some of my problems!

Posted By: BenJaru Feb 10, 2005 - 11:59 am

Thanks Bmat.

Posted By: Magus Feb 10, 2005 - 03:21 pm

Bmat? Are you invisible now?

***Looks around...***

Ahhh... I see you now!

Posted By: BenJaru Feb 10, 2005 - 06:01 pm