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Posted By: Jericho Jan 07, 2004 - 07:37 am

Hello


My name is Vlad....[Age reference deleted. Bmat] I live in Romania.......
This is what I ask of you......
For about four years I've been writing down what I thought...a few months ago it became serious and I tryed writing a novel....but it's quite hard.....I want to make this story big....very big, and also I want to write it with a high degree of complexity......
Who can or wants to help me.....please mail me at: eeru_mayat@hotmail.com
Thank you
IF you want more information or if you have any questions please do so........

Posted By: Bmat Jan 07, 2004 - 08:45 am

If you post parts of it here perhaps people could help, too.

Posted By: Jericho Jan 07, 2004 - 10:01 pm

Well.......
This something I wrote two years ago....it's kind of changed now, but it's still the same concept...more fiction......
:
~I~


The story begins with the born of the green earth.the humans are amingst the first to form cityes in the most fertile part of this world, but not the first to have appeared.First comes the middle kindom, started by the three cityes Valder, Barat, Hadun. Then comes the upper kingdom of Leandor, with the impetuos citadel of Ledra. After...the lower kingdom, called Shan'Ador.Being of a peacefull kind the humans start to interact with the other races, after a while trade routes are opened, aliances are formed.....all untill one day when the Evil has gathered enough power to rise against the nations.Taking the name Makir, which means "The one power" in the book of life, the Evil spurges out of the earth with an army so great as number that if looked from a hill or mountain the plains would look like every single little thing that had life in it has been drained of vim.Corupting the creatures as it marches toards the three cityes, Makir burns everything in his way.Panic starts to crawl in people'shearts as the battles worn by them were nothing compared to the fight that would be.King Vaad gathers all of the troups he can and marches toards the three cityes...but he arrives to late, half of them are allready in the ground.As if it wouldn't be a great loss they soon discover something that would break their hearts and fill them with hatred and fury...as they looked toards the skyes they saw smoke.....as they looked down they could not belive their eyes.....The greatest capitol which ever existed was now in flames......Ledra burned.Vaad sounds the Horn of the ages.......the sound travelled through the entire lands..elves, dwarves, mages, glitterings, faeries and eaven the great and mighty cyclops heard the cry of the horn...all rushed in the help of the humans....Three days they stalked the Evil, upon cought in the plains of judgement.Not waiting for any comands at all, the soldiers jumped at Makir's army, tering them apart, riping the flesh on Makir's troups with their weapons, shields and eaven bear hands.The warrior prophet Fanghir himself jumped toards Makir and stroke him with his blade.Although Makir had dragon like skin, small shivers of blood flown through the cuts.Upon the fall of the great Evil, Makir, with a desperat look saw a young swordsmen captain...it didn't took to long to seduce him with the black powers so he would not be terminated.The captain as he was mismarised by the great powers of Makir, leaped toards the prophet and smaked his head with his shield.Makir was almost saved.He opened a portal in the earth and jumped through it.Recovering from his fall, Fanghir grabed his sword and shield form the ground and jumped after the demon.As the portal quickly closed after him, everyone was shocked by all of this.....the demon disappeared, so did the prophet... and by now the captain was long gone on his horse toards the renegade parts of the human kingdom.
Months after the disappearance of Fanghir and the death of king Vaad the kingdom, although was rebuilt started to decay, plague appeared, coruption, death treatchery and vile murders........Until


~II~


-In times after the fall of the inconquerable capitol of Ledra, and the sacrifice of the Fanghir prophet...times of great darkness aproach.Exiled by the ruler of house Bakart, the duke Qulan, the kings of the five nations: The elven king Fellodr, the human king Vad, the dwarven king Boldior, the cyclops king Suludan and the mage king Litra, felt every day how the corruption and vile murders in Leandor would be the end of the green earth...the power of the shinig metal ate their hearts.Help from the lower kingdom of Shan'Ador is out of the question for the enemy inteligence and stalkers will find their hiding Hall upon the mountain of steel and eliminate them, and, along with them the last bastion of resistance in the human kingdom.
Not only the inside of the kingdom is scorched, but the outside is also to be burned by the evil send by Darg'un, the once human captain which betrayed the empire-now chieftan of the orcs, but also from the master of the dark arts, Sandrogan, the wizard necromancer which wields the lost souls.
A warning is given to all of the inhabitors of the lands.....the great army of the orcs and walking dead will strike upon their homes like hammers...four
souls will step before this danger with the armyes of the kindoms united behind them, but the four souls will be lost as the great and prime evil, Makir-which fights an everlasting fight at the bottom of the earth with the prophet Fanghir.
The time passes and the souls are nowhere to be found, the council upon Grey valley summit tend to bend the rules, but there will be a price to pay.

~III~


As I told in the first part.....the summit upon the mountain of steel will try to bend the rules by sending the mage Litra and the cyclops king in the quest of gathering the four brave ones and the armyes of the tribes united.It won't take long before the dark elfish scouts of house Bakart will spot the two leaving the summit.Darg'un and Sandrogan press upon the lands from the north and south......hundreds of lives are lost......hundreds more skeletons and horrors are revived through the powers of Sandrogan.......meanwhile, Litra calls for the help of blood drakes, the servants of mage nobles, as well, Suludan travells to the wizard tower of Kel'Asher and gatheres the nations most valiant fighters to hear his call.Litra finds the four only from what the prophecy says:"the one that masters the four elements of life shall be found where white covers the lands, the one that heeds the call of the wild ones sleeps in the deepset green, the silver sword is the second to come from the human father and the stomp tall man is underneath the bed of gold".Also there will be a fifth one that shall be recruited by Litra, with the appearance of a boy, but the mind of ten elders...........preparations are not given to much time for Darg'un's forcess press, the threat will be made, Ledra faces the danger once more, Shan'Ador fights the undead with all of it's might, the citadel of Maerat is also given an ultimatum....Thanatos, Makir's general surfaces and attacks with the underground spawns........... three wars, six heroes, three days.........the prophecy will fall......the bond made by the first elders and the Prophet king is broken..............Griffonheart, lord of house Skleer brakes in the summit upon the mountain of steel.............


~IV~


The mage Litra succedes in gathering the four souls almost in twelveth hour.....with only a few moments to depart them from the urgie, the six go to the middle fortress of Maerat...the last outpost standing between liberty and a forever ****ation faith in the hands of Makir.The night before the the first step of the war valuable words are said, some hurt, some bring joy to the heart.The hours of the night fall slowly.....but finaly the morning comes....silence...the hoards are nowhere to be seen.By the time when the sun almost reached the peak of the skyes, a red flood fills the valley before....Makir's general, Thanatos rushes with the scourge of the under toards the citadel.A fight of which words are to less in any language to describe takes place.At the moment where the baricades are about to be breached, Thanatos rushes the retreat toards the kingdom of Leandor.......the human and other nations are not to fast to rejoyce from this....the capitol of Leandor is without defense and is soon to be taken over...it is only a matter of time before the worst will come.........


~V~


After the great battle of Maerat, Makir's general Thanatos rushes toards Ledra.There is no time to loose......if Thanatos reaches Ledra and joins up with Sandrogan, their power will be above any hope to conquer it.Although the whole six heroes would have had a greater chance to crush the evil, the king of Maerat obliges only two to go, the prophet and the fifth recruit.No one understands his requests but until further orders from the king upon the summit they can't question his command...little do they know that the summit has been erased from the face of the earth....The other four heroes have been sent to face the forces of Darg'un.Before the assault on the citadel of Shan'Ador, The demon Makir rises at the surface...the worst has yet to come... the surfacing of the monster can only mean one thing, the prophet is dead, any last hope of divine intervention has went up i nsmoke as once before the capitol of Leandor.....
Reaching the kingdom of Ledra, the mage and the recruit lead the forces of Ledra into battle, unexpectingly, the battle is a succes...The forces of Ledra are almost untouched......aslo with the war a great part of the corruptionhas been wiped out of the face of the earth..but still, old wounds heal slow.The success that the upper dwellers had was the insuccess that the lower people had, although it was the fight that would leave the biggest and blodiest note in history, the heroes are dead.The crippled armies of Makir and Darg'un march toards the citadel of Maerat...the four heroes gave their lives in order to keep life and balance on theese lands... their souls now travelled toards the hall of the valiants, to the next realm, where their souls wait for the moment when they are to be reborn.The only two heroes that have survived are Litra and the recruit...Without any followers, they rush toards the place they knew that the final fight would take place.....The plains of judgement........two surviers to two demons, one last fight, only one side wins............

The plains of judgement are within the sight of Litra and the recruit...so are Darg'un and Makir...Overwhelmed by rage, Litra and Mayat rush their horses until the plains....Makir and the dark prince make no steps back, with the same fury they leap into battle.............upon the moment of the clash the elder gods appear and set their final words...the battle will be given one at a time as set by the first walkers of this earth.....there will be no use of trickery or foul blows, the good or evil will provale.....In the fight Darg'un kills Litra and injures Mayat...........but before the final blow is struck to Mayat he is stabbed by the back....Makir, his regent betrayed him....Again the rules have been bent, Makir knew that, but also he hoped to win, fact that had been compromised in the moment of his back stab.AS a punishment, the elder gods release the silver sword spirit within him, spirit that foreve lurked in his heart but had been frozen in Makir's first comming.........The final fight is given by Makir and Mayat(which in the elder language means antichrist and saviour through faith)......blows cast by both fighters, the skyes clouden, storm starts, volcanos blow hot ash, thunder storms, nature unleashes its horrors....the fight that will set the balance of life and death is now.........blood spills from the woundsof the two "titans", makir fights slowly, but there is no doubt that Mayat will be the one to fall the first...Makir raises his claw and hits mayat, his armor is all crumbled to the ground.......only a miracle will save him............makir raises this time his both arms and.......a silver sword punches through his back and into his chest....the demon is frozen for a second, but then he falls to the ground....ibehind him, The silver sword is leaned to one side and holds his chest....then he falls in hees knees...Mayat crwals to his side and holds his head.......final words are said and finaly, the monster that Darg'un was, released the young arms captian and the silver sword.The plains of judgement have brought order to the world, life and order provaled............


~~~~~~~~~the end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I hope you liked it and please...if you have any questions or critics...please reply...

Posted By: Jericho Jan 09, 2004 - 02:53 am

well........please tell me something ???

Posted By: Mogget Jan 09, 2004 - 08:06 pm

Try posting this in the writer's showcase forum if you want feedback, you'll definitely have more luck.
http://speculativevision.com/forum/messages/29/29.html

Edited to say I just realised that this is an outline rather than an excert, so this is in the fact the better forum. D'oh! I think I need more sleep. Sorry 'bout that.