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Posted By: firemaker Jan 13, 2005 - 08:30 am

i have only just started this story but i plan to update it as much as possible hope you like it!


Derblistrone
Prologue
Once upon a time in another universe there was a world much like our own that existed but it was a world full of magic. Wizards, dragons and hydras and these sorts of legendary beings existed. Dragons were under the rule of humans but could only be controlled by the most powerful of minds. The more powerful the minds the better the dragon and the more dragons could be controlled at once. Should a man who had a weak mind tried to control more then one dragon he would probably be roasted by it but some could command hundreds of these beings at once. Then a man came along. he had the ability to control the dragons ten times better that anyone else in this world. he was evil. he used the dragons to make himself as an emperor of the world. he had manly slaves and had everything he could want. these were times of darkness. his army was millions and the ordinary people had a very bad life this had gone on for thousands of years. It was said that the man was immortal. He was and had the secret of immortality. They said nobody could kill him. Two thousand years into his reign a prophet came along saying that a boy would come. He would find 5 different artefacts which would be the weapon that could be used to kill the emperor. The prophet was killed two days later by the emperor. And so for three thousand years more the rule of tyranny continued. Our story begins three thousandth four hundredth and twelfth year into the emperor’s reign.

Chapter 1 I’m just a boy

Here I am a boy of 14 have combat training with swords. Many say that my swordsmanship is amazing. I love fighting with swords, especially the swords my dad has carefully crafted for me, they are very light yet cannot be broken or shattered simply because they are made of different metals and diamond allowing it to absorb shocks. My mentor Jamis says that I am very skilled with all sorts of weapons not just swords and that I will be valuable to the army. My dad is thought to be the best blacksmith in the whole empire. My favourite sword is curved on both sides and has been said to be sharpened to the point that it will slice scrolls if dropped on them and not tear them. I have also been trained with spears and javelins and also there is my boomerang. But it isn’t just any type of boomerang that has been made with wood. The cutting edge is made of diamond and could cut through just about anything. Today hasn’t been anything different from any other day. All I had done is study more swordsmanship. To be exact how to disengage a horizontal attack strike before your opponent has the chance to bring his sword back in your direction. Well anyway nothing special had happened.
I got home to find nobody there.
“Dad! Dad where are you?” I called.
Nobody answered. I looked around finding nothing. I listened to the silence. Then I heard a creak. And slow footsteps. It sounded like somebody trying to approach me slowly. I brought my sword out of my scabbard. Another creak it was behind me. I turned around to find one of the emperor’s soldiers. He had a javelin, a black shield with an emblem of two dragons and a long javelin. I detached my shield from behind my back and brought it up ready for a fight. The soldier threw his javelin at me. I brought up my shield to deflect it. While I was doing this he had brought out sword and started running at me. I stood my ground. He jumped up into the air to launch a powerful vertical attack. I stuck my sword out in such a way that his blade would run down my and be to the right of my body. A soon as it was on my right I swiped my sword left horizontally. It cut him on the torso but I wasn’t close enough to do real damage. Unlike I was expecting he completely ignored this and made a horizontal attack. Now if this had happened yesterday I would have just parried him but instead I used what Jamis taught me, I disengaged his blade and he carried on swinging. Then before he could begin another attack I lunged forward with my sword and swung my hand. It cut off his wrist. His hand dropped along with his sword. This time around he was in shock I used this as an opportunity to take his hand with the shield. The soldier wasn’t dead but he would die soon enough of blood lose. I had to ask him quickly.
“Who sent you to kill me? I’m just a boy.” I said harshly.
“The emperor said he wanted you and your family dead so I killed your father. He and your mother are dead now I also shall die. If I were you I would run as far away as possible as others will come for you as I did. I tell you this only because you bested me and therefore deserve to get away for now.” He answered.
I was quite shocked when I heard this but I shook it off because right now shock wouldn’t help I needed to be calculating in my head. I knew how the army worked. They would wait for two hours for the arrival for the soldier if he didn’t arrive by then they waited half an hour more and after that the prepared a battalion of about ten people to find out what had happened to their man this would take another hour. It would take them half an hour to reach here so I had 4 hours to pack my things and leave.

Chapter 2 flight to the woods
I had packed many things. My sword, javelin, shield, boomerang, bow, arrows, hand axe, books on controlling dragons, maps, grappling hooks and a letter my dad had left for me when he had died. It took me three hours. When I was done I left running. My bag was heavy though. I made for the woods. It was getting dark. I made myself a temporary shelter made of wood caught a rabbit and roasted it. I ate it then tried to sleep. I found it hard that this had actually happened and kept on trying to forget. Eventually I managed to sleep.
I was awoken by a twigs snapping. I got up to look outside. I found a nice surprise awaiting me. The emperor’s army was in the wood. I didn’t have to think twice. I took out my bow and arrows and started shooting them. I didn’t care how many of them I had to kill. They were here to kill me and had killed many others. They deserved to be dead. I swore to myself that one day I would kill that immortal emperor. One day I would have his head on a plate. When I shot the first one down the soldiers didn’t notice as they were very well spread out. So I took out another hitting him straight through the temple. I climbed up a tree and took 9 out of 10 them down one by one. When he realised that his comrades had disappeared he started looking around very closely and saw me. I stood still so that it would seem that I hadn’t noticed him. He fell for it. The man slowly went around the tree and then approached me from behind. This was exactly what I had been expecting from him. As soon as he was just behind the tree I took out my sword and cut all the tree on top of me off. He just had time to look up and see a tree coming down on his head. He somehow managed to roll out the way. Upon seeing this I jumped off the tree with my sword and hand axe. I got out his sword. I swung my sword horizontally expecting him to parry. That was exactly what he did. Now I swung my hand axe from the other direction hitting his sword with immense force. His sword shattered. He immediately started clutching his hands. He still had a shield though. He was protecting everything but his face and he moved he shield to protect that when I tried to attack it. So I moved my sword to hit his face but he moved his shield up but at the same time I threw my hand axe at his leg. It sliced it off. He fell to the ground and dropped his shield. I had no second thought brought my sword up and stabbed him in the heart. I now had the day to myself. The first thing I did was take out my dad’s letter to me.

Dear Alex
This day was bound to happen sometime. The emperor was told by a seer that he himself was helping training his downfall. Upon hearing this he decided that every boy he was training and was your age should be killed. I expect all of them are dead now apart from you.. They weren’t trained like you were. My son you possess the power of half an army. Now you must go to the village of Banmorphtai . there you will find and old man called Mentalaus. He will complete your training and teach you many new things that you will need later in your life. Now be faithful and true to people like a proper warrior son and good by.
From
Your loving father

Chapter 3 A new quest
It seemed like a big fantasy to me but I knew that he was telling the truth because my father never lied. I knew where the village of Banmorphtai is but it would take 3 days to get there by foot and a lot longer if these soldiers of the emperor keep on coming after me. Well I really didn’t have any better ideas so I set off for Banmorphtai. The journey took me through a mountainous region where I found some snow hares to feed on. I carried on walking through the night and into the early morning. At noon took a break to get some sleep and ate. I slept well into the late afternoon. When I woke up I went to the peak of a small hill to check I wasn’t being followed. I looked down to see an amazing view of mountains, hills, woods, and villages. I was. A troop of 20 men were headed my way. I decided that it would be better for me to wait as they were only about twenty minutes away. Because I was on a hill I brought out my bow and arrow and started shooting them I only took down three of them but because they were all together the just raised their shields into the air protecting them. I waited. They were looking quite heavily armed. Because they were heavily armed I decided to my sword and axe again but this time I kept my shield on my back for defensive measures. I waited for them. They were quite obviously taking their time so that they had as much energy as possible to try and kill me. They were just about coming to the top of the hill when I started running at them. Only one of them came forward. He was a tall man and instead of the standard issue sword the army used he used a giant axe. The sort you would use to chop down two hundred year old trees. I stopped running. It became apparent to me that this was one of the emperors strongest men and also that they were planning to fight me one by one. They thought that I would find it harder like that but they were wrong. One on one was much easier than one on seventeen. We were about four meters away when he started moving in to attack. He was running forward and was swinging his axe horizontally. I spun around allowing the axe to hit my shield spun and then carried on spinning allowing my sword to hit his shin. It cut him quite deeply but not enough to do any real damage. He brought his axe up for a vertical attack with the power he was bringing it down I knew that I would probably end up dropping my sword so I side stepped. It was too late for him to stop his attack. I used this time to kick him in the face. He fell to the ground. Before he could get up I took his axe and cut off his head. All the other men looked quite gob-smacked and then one of them started running at me then they all did. This was going to be hard to fight with a standard weapon. So instead I kept the soldier’s axe in my hand when they were within range of the axe I swung it as powerfully as possible. It hit one of their shields but carried on going causing him to fall down it the next man along it just cut straight threw his waist and the same with the next two. It had taken four men out of the battle in just one swing. The rest of the soldiers watched and then started running back like cowards. They were retreating. They would take a whole day to get back to the emperor and give him the news and then another day to get back here. I now stopped to have a long rest because I was very worn out. I got myself some food and water. I woke up and it was about half way thought the night. I decided that unless I had no choice I should press on not stopping till I reached the village. The walk was a long one especially since I now had one more weapon with me that was quite heavy. But I made it. When I got there I went to the village bar. Some men were sitting drinking others were talking, one was showing off his sword but they all appeared to be busy till I walked in. I walked in and they just stared at me.
“Who the hell are you?” the barman shouted.
“Somebody.” I answered in a angry tone.
“Your Alex aren’t you?” he said. I was quite taken aback at this in my mind but refused to show weakness and just nodded my head. But saying yes was a bad idea because immediately everyone in the bar brought out a weapon. I counted it was me versus six men. Two of them had hand axes the rest had swords. The bar man smiled.
“Did you know that you are a dead man. Wanted for fifty thousand pieces of gold. The emperor himself wants you. So make peace with your gods for we are going to kill you.” said a man on one of the tables. On hearing this my shield and sword came out. I was ready to fight so were they but we hadn’t moved. It was like a thumb war very tense and the first person to move would start the fight. We stood like this for 20 seconds but it seemed like 5 minutes to me. I took a step forward. Then everyone roared and ran towards me. I brought out my big axe and my shield the first man to reach me had a sword in his hand. I pushed him and then swung my axe vertically at his sword. The sheer force of the axe shattered the sword. It carried on going and smashed into the mans skull. I didn’t wait to pull it out I just didn’t have the time. I brought out my sword. The next guy had two swords. He jabbed both swords at me. I brought up my shield to defend myself, put my sword arm behind me and spun. My shield moved his swords out the way while my sword gashed him quite deeply in the torso. He double over. I hit him in the face with me shield. I didn’t have time to watch him go to the ground. My peripheral vision had seen somebody edging towards me. I watched a guy with a hammer come at me. He had very large muscles. He was almost as big as the person I met on the hill. He brought his hammer down trying to aim and my face but I strafed right. When his hammer hit the ground I got my sword and niftily chopped off his arm. He fell to the ground in shock. Three down three to go. The next two guys attacked me in unison. They both had swords and one had a shield. They ran at me with their swords forward. I moved out the way and managed to stab the guy with the sword in the back. The man with the sword and shield turned quickly spinning his sword with his body. I used my shield to defend my hip. I lunged pretending I was going for his face but as he was about to parry I quickly lowered my sword. It hit him in the groin. He was disconcerted but was going to carry on fighting. I then rammed him with my shield. He went back a few steps. I also did this. Then we both ran at each other. I was about two meters away from him when I jumped. I moved my leg out wards. I brought up my sword and then as we met I stabbed him vertically down the shoulder. It went straight into his heart. Blood gushed out immediately. Only one man remained. It was the bar tender. He was welding an axe. I put my shield back on my back and took out my hand axe. We
started circling each other. Then I started walking to him. He did the same. He swung his axe horizontally I ducked and brought my sword coming upwards he jumped back. I walked towards him and spun on my foot with both my axe and sword held outwards. It hit his axe the first time with the sword but that didn’t do much but the second hit really sent a wave of power he dropped the axe. I moved in for the kill when he picked up a sword. And started bringing it upwards. I jumped back but I was just a bit too late. It gave me a flesh wound made with the point of his sword. I jumped back and shouted:
“You don’t give up do you?”
“The amount of money your dead body would allow me to retire now and let me live as the district rulers do.”
When he said this I knew that that would cause trouble for me. It meant that almost every time I went into a town or village somebody would try and kill me. I came back at him again. Both my sword and my axe hit his sword. He disengaged and was about to stab me but I brought my axe down on is sword. He was open to attack. I didn’t wait I went straight for the heart. He flopped lifeless. Just then an old man walked in. He had a wrinkled face but in a way he still looked young. His hair was white and came down to his waist. He was about six feet tall and ha reasonable big muscles.
“You must be Alex. Come now, I’m a friend. Your dad must have mentioned my name.” said an old man at the door. His hair was white and fell to his stomach his face was wrinkled but his eyes were a bright blue.
“Good evening Mentalaus. I bring bad news. My father was killed by.” I started but he interrupted me saying that he already knows everything that happened in my life.
“Now come my young warrior we must go to my house.” At this point I followed him outside. He whistled a tune and looked to the sky. I followed his eyes and where he was looking a flying beats was coming from far in the distance. I was astonished when I saw it looked exactly like the dragons in books except it was blue. It was flying towards us at a very fast speed. I took out my sword and shield. But Mentalaus said:
“My friend do not worry for I have summoned the dragon. His name is Blueblazer. He is an ice dragon and can freeze even lava and is also my fastest dragon. You must treat him with the respect you would treat a family slave who you are kind to. Now get on him and we shall fly to my house.”
On hearing this I put the sword and shield in their in their rightful place which was behind my back. I took a closer look at the dragon. It had a long body about 30 meters long and wings about 5 meters long. It wan a bit like a snake with wings. I climbs on its back and so did Mentalaus. The dragon beat it’s powerful wings and we were off.
We arrived at the house about 2 hours later. It was a small house made of wood but it had a large garden at the back full of dragons. But we went inside.
“My friend I am sure you are full of questions but there is something we must talk about first. It will be a long tale so make yourself comfortable.
Along time ago a man was born on the earth with the capability to control hundreds of dragons at once. The man was evil and so used this power to acquire all he wanted nobody could stop him. He used it to gain the whole world to himself. Now by a great misfortune to world he acquired the elixir of life and became immortal. This way nobody could kill him with a normal weapon. But unknown to him a weapon had been created when he became the ruler of the world. It was called Derblistrone. We never knew who the maker was but it was said that the sword could destroy everything. The maker hid it in a temple where it could only be opened by the one with the four keys. Each of them were hidden in a different place. They themselves game the holders elemental powers. One of fire, one of ice, one of lightning and one of wind. They were designed to fit in a special belt the maker made. He created 4 of them 3 of which were destroyed by the emperor. The fourth is with me and your father said I should give it to you. Now you complete your training with me.” After this long tale he took me to the garden and said:
“These dragons have no owners at the moment they just live with me. Choose any three you would like to own and have as a partner. There are lava dragons, lightning dragons and ice dragons.” I took a look around and had chosen one dragon of each element. I had chosen 3 dragons which had impressed me. They would need to be strong for my quest.
“Sire I have chosen my three dragons.” I said to Mentalaus after 2 minutes of deep thought. He look at me and the said:
“Now you must call them. To do that you must focus your mind on them and hat they look like and then mentally talk to them. They will hear you and come to you. Once you have established a mental link to them you must name them.”
Upon hearing this I first focused on my lava dragon and said in my head:
“Come. Would you like to come on a quest with me? You want to go on another adventure?”
a voice then popped up in my head saying:
“Hello Alex. Mentalaus told me you would pick me and yes I would love to on a quest with you because here I’m quite restless with nothing to do and I have already told the other two of us you wanted they are listening as well. Now you should name all three of us.” I was quite surprised by this but in a good way.
“In that case I will call you Ninefires,” I said focusing on the lava dragon.
“You Exedrassed,” I said focusing on the ice dragon.
“And you Electriditai.” Focusing on the lightning dragon.
“Now Alex you must come with me we don’t have long but I must give you the crystal of wind along with the belt needed to hold it. Also I must teach you how to use special elemental attacks.” said Mentalaus. He started walking back into the house and I followed him. When we entered the house he went to the wall where there was a black belt. It had a scabbard and four empty slots. Mentalaus took it down.
“Here you must wear it.” I put it on. Then mentalaus went to a wall. He pressed on it twice and the wall flipped around. There was a white crystal behind it. It was about the same size as the slots on my belt.
“This is the crystal of wind. It can give you the power to control the wind. To use it just focus your mind on the crystal. Whether it be what it looks like how it feels or what it can do.” I put the crystal into one of the flour slots. The blade on my sword suddenly became transparent. Along with my shield, apart from the handle. The same happened to my two axes, arrows and boomerang apart from the middle.
“What’s happened to my weapons?” I nearly shouted.
“My friend do not be worried they have just become elemental. They are even more dangerous than before. Should thrust your sword forward a compressed bubble of air will carry on going from where your sword was. If it hits something it will send them flying. As for your shield anything that hits it will just bounce back. The harder they hit it the harder it will come back at them. As for your two axes they are now as light as ever. So you can strike with them as quickly as you would with your sword. Now you must learn where the other crystals are.” He said. Next he brought a map out of his pocket. It was a huge map with quite a lot of the world on it. The map showed three different crystals on it. The nearest one was the crystal of fire. It was about a 1-week journey from here.
“You must journey to the fire crystal first. It is within a volcano. You have to get to the summit. There at the summit there should be an area at the mouth where no smoke comes out. You must go into there. It is a long descent but with your dragons and the crystal of air you should find it too much of a problem after all you can now control air. Including the ability to fly. Inside the volcano you will a door. Inside it you must enter. Here is the dungeon to the crystal. I know no more of your mission to find this crystal but I will tell you this and remember it. One must always fight for the crystals for the maker left them with people who he knew in combat could nearly destroy everyone.”
I had been sitting down listening to this. It was a lot of information to take onboard but I listened to it all.

Posted By: talisman Jan 13, 2005 - 09:54 am

I like your storyline and the fact you've written in first person is quite creative. I'm not sure if you wanted critical comments, but I made a few that I hope will be of use.

I think, he's a bit too strong for a 14 year old. You've created the stereotypical perfect, unbeatable warrior, which makes the story a bit predictable - we know he'll win every fight he enters if he never has difficulty and can take on 6 or so men at a time. Try throwing a few problems in for him to overcome. You might also want to develop him emotionally, something which first-person writing might be quite good for.

There's plenty of action, but not much in-between the 'fight scenes'. Try describing what he sees and where he goes a little more.

In chapter 2, he slices a tree in half with his sword. Unless it's a very thin trunk (or you meant he was cutting the branches) then I don't think that's possible, even in a fantasy story. lol

Anyway keep writing, there's some good ideas in there.

Posted By: firemaker Jan 17, 2005 - 10:44 am

here i did abit more

Derblistrone
Prologue
Once upon a time in another universe there was a world much like our own that existed but it was a world full of magic. Wizards, dragons and hydras and these sorts of legendary beings existed. Dragons were under the rule of humans but could only be controlled by the most powerful of minds. The more powerful the minds the better the dragon and the more dragons could be controlled at once. Should a man who had a weak mind tried to control more then one dragon he would probably be roasted by it but some could command hundreds of these beings at once. Then a man came along. he had the ability to control the dragons ten times better that anyone else in this world. he was evil. he used the dragons to make himself as an emperor of the world. he had manly slaves and had everything he could want. these were times of darkness. his army was millions and the ordinary people had a very bad life this had gone on for thousands of years. It was said that the man was immortal. He was and had the secret of immortality. They said nobody could kill him. Two thousand years into his reign a prophet came along saying that a boy would come. He would find 5 different artefacts which would be the weapon that could be used to kill the emperor. The prophet was killed two days later by the emperor. And so for three thousand years more the rule of tyranny continued. Our story begins three thousandth four hundredth and twelfth year into the emperor’s reign.

Chapter 1 I’m just a boy

Here I am a boy of 18 having combat training with swords. Many say that my swordsmanship is amazing. I love fighting with swords, especially the swords my dad has carefully crafted for me, they are very light yet cannot be broken or shattered simply because they are made of different metals and diamond allowing it to absorb shocks. My mentor Jamis says that I am very skilled with all sorts of weapons not just swords and that I will be valuable to the army. My dad is thought to be the best blacksmith in the whole empire. My favourite sword is curved on both sides and has been said to be sharpened to the point that it will slice scrolls if dropped on them and not tear them. I have also been trained with spears and javelins and also there is my boomerang. But it isn’t just any type of boomerang that has been made with wood. The cutting edge is made of diamond and could cut through just about anything. Today hasn’t been anything different from any other day. All I had done is study more swordsmanship. To be exact how to disengage a horizontal attack strike before your opponent has the chance to bring his sword back in your direction. Well anyway nothing special had happened.
I got home to find nobody there.
“Dad! Dad where are you?” I called.
Nobody answered. I looked around finding nothing. I listened to the silence. Then I heard a creak. And slow footsteps. It sounded like somebody trying to approach me slowly. I brought my sword out of my scabbard. Another creak it was behind me. I turned around to find one of the emperor’s soldiers. He had a javelin, a black shield with an emblem of two dragons and a long javelin. I detached my shield from behind my back and brought it up ready for a fight. The soldier threw his javelin at me. I brought up my shield to deflect it. While I was doing this he had brought out sword and started running at me. I stood my ground. He jumped up into the air to launch a powerful vertical attack. I stuck my sword out in such a way that his blade would run down my and be to the right of my body. A soon as it was on my right I swiped my sword left horizontally. It cut him on the torso but I wasn’t close enough to do real damage. Unlike I was expecting he completely ignored this and made a horizontal attack. Now if this had happened yesterday I would have just parried him but instead I used what Jamis taught me, I disengaged his blade and he carried on swinging. Then before he could begin another attack I lunged forward with my sword and swung my hand. It cut off his wrist. His hand dropped along with his sword. This time around he was in shock I used this as an opportunity to take his hand with the shield. The soldier wasn’t dead but he would die soon enough of blood lose. I had to ask him quickly.
“Who sent you to kill me? I’m just a boy.” I said harshly.
“The emperor said he wanted you and your family dead so I killed your father. He and your mother are dead now I also shall die. If I were you I would run as far away as possible as others will come for you as I did. I tell you this only because you bested me and therefore deserve to get away for now.” He answered.
I was quite shocked when I heard this but I shook it off because right now shock wouldn’t help I needed to be calculating in my head. I knew how the army worked. They would wait for two hours for the arrival for the soldier if he didn’t arrive by then they waited half an hour more and after that the prepared a battalion of about ten people to find out what had happened to their man this would take another hour. It would take them half an hour to reach here so I had 4 hours to pack my things and leave.

Chapter 2 flight to the woods
I had packed many things. My sword, javelin, shield, boomerang, bow, arrows, hand axe, books on controlling dragons, maps, grappling hooks and a letter my dad had left for me when he had died. It took me three hours. When I was done I left running. My bag was heavy though. I made for the woods. It was getting dark. I made myself a temporary shelter made of wood caught a rabbit and roasted it. I ate it then tried to sleep. I found it hard that this had actually happened and kept on trying to forget. Eventually I managed to sleep.
I was awoken by a twigs snapping. I got up to look outside. I found a nice surprise awaiting me. The emperor’s army was in the wood. I didn’t have to think twice. I took out my bow and arrows and started shooting them. I didn’t care how many of them I had to kill. They were here to kill me and had killed many others. They deserved to be dead. I swore to myself that one day I would kill that immortal emperor. One day I would have his head on a plate. When I shot the first one down the soldiers didn’t notice as they were very well spread out. So I took out another hitting him straight through the temple. I climbed up a tree and took 9 out of 10 them down one by one. When he realised that his comrades had disappeared he started looking around very closely and saw me. I stood still so that it would seem that I hadn’t noticed him. He fell for it. The man slowly went around the tree and then approached me from behind. This was exactly what I had been expecting from him. As soon as he was just behind the tree I took out my sword and cut all the tree on top of me off. He just had time to look up and see a tree coming down on his head. He somehow managed to roll out the way. Upon seeing this I jumped off the tree with my sword and hand axe. I got out his sword. I swung my sword horizontally expecting him to parry. That was exactly what he did. Now I swung my hand axe from the other direction hitting his sword with immense force. His sword shattered. He immediately started clutching his hands. He still had a shield though. He was protecting everything but his face and he moved he shield to protect that when I tried to attack it. So I moved my sword to hit his face but he moved his shield up but at the same time I threw my hand axe at his leg. It sliced it off. He fell to the ground and dropped his shield. I had no second thought brought my sword up and stabbed him in the heart. I now had the day to myself. The first thing I did was take out my dad’s letter to me.

Dear Alex
This day was bound to happen sometime. The emperor was told by a seer that he himself was helping training his downfall. Upon hearing this he decided that every boy he was training and was your age should be killed. I expect all of them are dead now apart from you.. They weren’t trained like you were. My son you possess the power of half an army. Now you must go to the village of Banmorphtai . there you will find and old man called Mentalaus. He will complete your training and teach you many new things that you will need later in your life. Now be faithful and true to people like a proper warrior son and good by.
From
Your loving father

Chapter 3 A new quest
It seemed like a big fantasy to me but I knew that he was telling the truth because my father never lied. I knew where the village of Banmorphtai is but it would take 3 days to get there by foot and a lot longer if these soldiers of the emperor keep on coming after me. Well I really didn’t have any better ideas so I set off for Banmorphtai. The journey took me through a mountainous region where I found some snow hares to feed on. I carried on walking through the night and into the early morning. At noon took a break to get some sleep and ate. I slept well into the late afternoon. When I woke up I went to the peak of a small hill to check I wasn’t being followed. I looked down to see an amazing view of mountains, hills, woods, and villages. I was. A troop of 20 men were headed my way. I decided that it would be better for me to wait as they were only about twenty minutes away. Because I was on a hill I brought out my bow and arrow and started shooting them I only took down three of them but because they were all together the just raised their shields into the air protecting them. I waited. They were looking quite heavily armed. Because they were heavily armed I decided to my sword and axe again but this time I kept my shield on my back for defensive measures. I waited for them. They were quite obviously taking their time so that they had as much energy as possible to try and kill me. They were just about coming to the top of the hill when I started running at them. Only one of them came forward. He was a tall man and instead of the standard issue sword the army used he used a giant axe. The sort you would use to chop down two hundred year old trees. I stopped running. It became apparent to me that this was one of the emperors strongest men and also that they were planning to fight me one by one. They thought that I would find it harder like that but they were wrong. One on one was much easier than one on seventeen. We were about four meters away when he started moving in to attack. He was running forward and was swinging his axe horizontally. I spun around allowing the axe to hit my shield spun and then carried on spinning allowing my sword to hit his shin. It cut him quite deeply but not enough to do any real damage. He brought his axe up for a vertical attack with the power he was bringing it down I knew that I would probably end up dropping my sword so I side stepped. It was too late for him to stop his attack. I used this time to kick him in the face. He fell to the ground. Before he could get up I took his axe and cut off his head. All the other men looked quite gob-smacked and then one of them started running at me then they all did. This was going to be hard to fight with a standard weapon. So instead I kept the soldier’s axe in my hand when they were within range of the axe I swung it as powerfully as possible. It hit one of their shields but carried on going causing him to fall down it the next man along it just cut straight threw his waist and the same with the next two. It had taken four men out of the battle in just one swing. The rest of the soldiers watched and then started running back like cowards. They were retreating. They would take a whole day to get back to the emperor and give him the news and then another day to get back here. I now stopped to have a long rest because I was very worn out. I got myself some food and water. I woke up and it was about half way thought the night. I decided that unless I had no choice I should press on not stopping till I reached the village. The walk was a long one especially since I now had one more weapon with me that was quite heavy. But I made it. When I got there I went to the village bar. Some men were sitting drinking others were talking, one was showing off his sword but they all appeared to be busy till I walked in. I walked in and they just stared at me.
“Who the hell are you?” the barman shouted.
“Somebody.” I answered in a angry tone.
“Your Alex aren’t you?” he said. I was quite taken aback at this in my mind but refused to show weakness and just nodded my head. But saying yes was a bad idea because immediately everyone in the bar brought out a weapon. I counted it was me versus six men. Two of them had hand axes the rest had swords. The bar man smiled.
“Did you know that you are a dead man. Wanted for fifty thousand pieces of gold. The emperor himself wants you. So make peace with your gods for we are going to kill you.” said a man on one of the tables. On hearing this my shield and sword came out. I was ready to fight so were they but we hadn’t moved. It was like a thumb war very tense and the first person to move would start the fight. We stood like this for 20 seconds but it seemed like 5 minutes to me. I took a step forward. Then everyone roared and ran towards me. I brought out my big axe and my shield the first man to reach me had a sword in his hand. I pushed him and then swung my axe vertically at his sword. The sheer force of the axe shattered the sword. It carried on going and smashed into the mans skull. I didn’t wait to pull it out I just didn’t have the time. I brought out my sword. The next guy had two swords. He jabbed both swords at me. I brought up my shield to defend myself, put my sword arm behind me and spun. My shield moved his swords out the way while my sword gashed him quite deeply in the torso. He double over. I hit him in the face with me shield. I didn’t have time to watch him go to the ground. My peripheral vision had seen somebody edging towards me. I watched a guy with a hammer come at me. He had very large muscles. He was almost as big as the person I met on the hill. He brought his hammer down trying to aim and my face but I strafed right. When his hammer hit the ground I got my sword and niftily chopped off his arm. He fell to the ground in shock. Three down three to go. The next two guys attacked me in unison. They both had swords and one had a shield. They ran at me with their swords forward. I moved out the way and managed to stab the guy with the sword in the back. The man with the sword and shield turned quickly spinning his sword with his body. I used my shield to defend my hip. I lunged pretending I was going for his face but as he was about to parry I quickly lowered my sword. It hit him in the groin. He was disconcerted but was going to carry on fighting. I then rammed him with my shield. He went back a few steps. I also did this. Then we both ran at each other. I was about two meters away from him when I jumped. I moved my leg out wards. I brought up my sword and then as we met I stabbed him vertically down the shoulder. It went straight into his heart. Blood gushed out immediately. Only one man remained. It was the bar tender. He was welding an axe. I put my shield back on my back and took out my hand axe. We
started circling each other. Then I started walking to him. He did the same. He swung his axe horizontally I ducked and brought my sword coming upwards he jumped back. I walked towards him and spun on my foot with both my axe and sword held outwards. It hit his axe the first time with the sword but that didn’t do much but the second hit really sent a wave of power he dropped the axe. I moved in for the kill when he picked up a sword. And started bringing it upwards. I jumped back but I was just a bit too late. It gave me a flesh wound made with the point of his sword. I jumped back and shouted:
“You don’t give up do you?”
“The amount of money your dead body would allow me to retire now and let me live as the district rulers do.”
When he said this I knew that that would cause trouble for me. It meant that almost every time I went into a town or village somebody would try and kill me. I came back at him again. Both my sword and my axe hit his sword. He disengaged and was about to stab me but I brought my axe down on is sword. He was open to attack. I didn’t wait I went straight for the heart. He flopped lifeless. Just then an old man walked in. He had a wrinkled face but in a way he still looked young. His hair was white and came down to his waist. He was about six feet tall and ha reasonable big muscles.
“You must be Alex. Come now, I’m a friend. Your dad must have mentioned my name.” said an old man at the door. His hair was white and fell to his stomach his face was wrinkled but his eyes were a bright blue.
“Good evening Mentalaus. I bring bad news. My father was killed by.” I started but he interrupted me saying that he already knows everything that happened in my life.
“Now come my young warrior we must go to my house.” At this point I followed him outside. He whistled a tune and looked to the sky. I followed his eyes and where he was looking a flying beats was coming from far in the distance. I was astonished when I saw it looked exactly like the dragons in books except it was blue. It was flying towards us at a very fast speed. I took out my sword and shield. But Mentalaus said:
“My friend do not worry for I have summoned the dragon. His name is Blueblazer. He is an ice dragon and can freeze even lava and is also my fastest dragon. You must treat him with the respect you would treat a family slave who you are kind to. Now get on him and we shall fly to my house.”
On hearing this I put the sword and shield in their in their rightful place which was behind my back. I took a closer look at the dragon. It had a long body about 30 meters long and wings about 5 meters long. It wan a bit like a snake with wings. I climbs on its back and so did Mentalaus. The dragon beat it’s powerful wings and we were off.
We arrived at the house about 2 hours later. It was a small house made of wood but it had a large garden at the back full of dragons. But we went inside.
“My friend I am sure you are full of questions but there is something we must talk about first. It will be a long tale so make yourself comfortable.
Along time ago a man was born on the earth with the capability to control hundreds of dragons at once. The man was evil and so used this power to acquire all he wanted nobody could stop him. He used it to gain the whole world to himself. Now by a great misfortune to world he acquired the elixir of life and became immortal. This way nobody could kill him with a normal weapon. But unknown to him a weapon had been created when he became the ruler of the world. It was called Derblistrone. We never knew who the maker was but it was said that the sword could destroy everything. The maker hid it in a temple where it could only be opened by the one with the four keys. Each of them were hidden in a different place. They themselves game the holders elemental powers. One of fire, one of ice, one of lightning and one of wind. They were designed to fit in a special belt the maker made. He created 4 of them 3 of which were destroyed by the emperor. The fourth is with me and your father said I should give it to you. Now you complete your training with me.” After this long tale he took me to the garden and said:
“These dragons have no owners at the moment they just live with me. Choose any three you would like to own and have as a partner. There are lava dragons, lightning dragons and ice dragons.” I took a look around and had chosen one dragon of each element. I had chosen 3 dragons that had impressed me. They would need to be strong for my quest.
“Sire I have chosen my three dragons.” I said to Mentalaus after 2 minutes of deep thought. He looked at me and the said:
“Now you must call them. To do that you must focus your mind on them and hat they look like and then mentally talk to them. They will hear you and come to you. Once you have established a mental link to them you must name them.”
Upon hearing this I first focused on my lava dragon and said in my head:
“Come. Would you like to come on a quest with me? You want to go on another adventure?”
a voice then popped up in my head saying:
“Hello Alex. Mentalaus told me you would pick me and yes I would love to on a quest with you because here I’m quite restless with nothing to do and I have already told the other two of us you wanted they are listening as well. Now you should name all three of us.” I was quite surprised by this but in a good way.
“In that case I will call you Ninefires,” I said focusing on the lava dragon.
“You Exedrassed,” I said focusing on the ice dragon.
“And you Electriditai.” Focusing on the lightning dragon.
“Now Alex you must come with me we don’t have long but I must give you the crystal of wind along with the belt needed to hold it. Also I must teach you how to use special elemental attacks.” said Mentalaus. He started walking back into the house and I followed him. When we entered the house he went to the wall where there was a black belt. It had a scabbard and four empty slots. Mentalaus took it down.
“Here you must wear it.” I put it on. Then mentalaus went to a wall. He pressed on it twice and the wall flipped around. There was a white crystal behind it. It was about the same size as the slots on my belt.
“This is the crystal of wind. It can give you the power to control the wind. To use it just focus your mind on the crystal. Whether it be what it looks like how it feels or what it can do.” I put the crystal into one of the flour slots. The blade on my sword suddenly became transparent. Along with my shield, apart from the handle. The same happened to my two axes, arrows and boomerang apart from the middle.
“What’s happened to my weapons?” I nearly shouted.
“My friend do not be worried they have just become elemental. They are even more dangerous than before. Should thrust your sword forward a compressed bubble of air will carry on going from where your sword was. If it hits something it will send them flying. As for your shield anything that hits it will just bounce back. The harder they hit it the harder it will come back at them. As for your two axes they are now as light as ever. So you can strike with them as quickly as you would with your sword. Now you must learn where the other crystals are.” He said. Next he brought a map out of his pocket. It was a huge map with quite a lot of the world on it. The map showed three different crystals on it. The nearest one was the crystal of fire. It was about a 1-week journey from here.
“You must journey to the fire crystal first. It is within a volcano. You have to get to the summit. There at the summit there should be an area at the mouth where no smoke comes out. You must go into there. It is a long descent but with your dragons and the crystal of air you should find it too much of a problem after all you can now control air. Including the ability to fly. Inside the volcano you will a door. Inside it you must enter. Here is the dungeon to the crystal. I know no more of your mission to find this crystal but I will tell you this and remember it. One must always fight for the crystals for the maker left them with people who he knew in combat could nearly destroy everyone.”
I had been sitting down listening to this. It was a lot of information to take onboard but I listened to it all.
“Well looks like I had best be on my way.” I said with a heavy voice.
“Not yet there is one more thing I wish to give you. Come with me.”
We walked out the room that had the black belt and into a weapons room. It had allsorts of weapons. I even recognised some of them as my dad’s.
“Here I thought you might like one more weapon as you will need it. Choose what ever you fancy.” I looked around. There were axes. Some diamond edged others seemed to be made of metals I had never seen before. Then I came across something with caught my eye. It a double-sided double-edged sword. The handle was in the middle. I picked it up ad took a closer look at it. The hand was made of a red metal that felt quite light. It had my dad’s initials on it. I tested it out swing it around. It was very light but strong as always when by dad crafts weapons. I decided to choose it.
“I think I will take my dad’s sword.”
“You choose well. For a young one you are very wise. Now I am sure you can fit it behind you back.” I did as he said and put it behind my back.
“Now take care. The path ahead of you is long and dangerous. Many have come and tried before you. But they failed for one reason. They wanted to rule. But you are different that is why you might succeed.”
I hugged him and then walked out of the house. Exedrassed, Ninefires and Electriditai were all waiting for me.
“Time to leave this place guys.” I said focusing on them.
I then focused my on the crystal in my belt. Then I thought about flying. And then I found myself in the air. I just had to look at where I wanted to go. Ad I would go in that direction. I lifted myself up to the clouds. It was fun but I had a mission. My dragons followed me.

Posted By: talisman Jan 17, 2005 - 01:24 pm

There's some improvements there, keep at it.

I'm glad you took my advice on making him older. 18 is fine, but you can't really call him a 'boy' at that age.

Posted By: firemaker Jan 17, 2005 - 10:56 pm

is there any way just vto edit your message on this forum because that would just be easier tyan posting again and again and again

Posted By: Bmat Jan 18, 2005 - 03:55 am

Look in the righthand column and click edit profile (under registration.) Log in, and your recent posts will be available for editting.

For older posts or to have a post deleted, email Magus or myself with the request, with the link and the username, date, time, forum and thread listed.

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