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Posted By: Lastone Mar 23, 2005 - 04:18 pm

Lastone was reaching for another Chile prawn when his knuckles scrapped hard against rock, turning around he noticed that a wall had suddenly appeared between him and his lunch. Not to mention the rest of the motley crew.

“Ah Guys!” Lastone called out. “Don’t eat all the prawns.

Wildcard on the other side of the wall was about to pass the bowl of prawns to Lastone when it hit the wall and smashed. Turning at the sound Merle and Nomad rose quickly to their feet and gave each other questioning glances.

“Where did Lastone go?” all three asked together. “Where did this wall come from?” Surprisingly the group intelligence was greater than the sum of the parts and they asked some very good questions. All heard a noise from behind them all turned to peer into the darkness.

“Not knowing.” Came a voice from the dark. “So Zathras cannot say. If knowing Zathras would say, not knowing Zathras cannot say.”

Nexttolast was in a heated discussion with vagabond when suddenly she noticed he was quiet. Everything was quiet. She attempted to retrace her steps but came across a dead end.

Posted By: MerleZ Apr 01, 2005 - 10:15 am

Merle was checking his list of assets. Having just scratched off Lastone, to go along with the scratchy lines through "Qray" and "Veneno", he scribbled, "Zathras."

Then looking at Nommy, he said, "OK, you take care of the Zathras. My brain is numb." He picked up Widget and started rubbing her cheeks.

Nommy, mouth hanging open, protested. "Why me? Why not Boikat?"

"Because, if you haven't noticed, Boikat seems to be kinda along for the ride these days. I'm not sure how much help he's gonna be."

For his part, Boikat stopped licking his paw, gave Merle a piercing glare, and then turned his back on everyone. He returned to licking his paw.

"OK," muttered Nommy, "let's see how much patience I have.

"Zathras, why aren't you with the great machine?"

"Oh, you mean Zathras. Zathras still tending great machine, along with Zathras and Zathras."

"So you aren't the same Zathras?"

"No, that is Zathras. I am Zathras."

Nommy rubbed his temples. "So why are you here?"

"Zathras is always here. Always here. It is Zathras's lot in life, to live here and to die here. It is a sad life. But at least there is symmetry."

"Well, do you know where Q and Veneno are?"

"Zathras is not knowing. No. Not knowing that."

Merle stepped closer, to make sure he didn't miss anything. As he did so, Widget tensed, and then hissed. Slowly, Merle reached down and picked up Lastone's super soaker.

Zathras was still talking. "Zathras knows many things, but is not knowing that. Zathras fix many things. Some things they ask Zathras to fix, and he does. Other things, Zathras does not know." His eyes were glazing over, Nommy and Merle could see a lumb bulging in his chest. Zathras's eyes rolled back in his head, and an alien came bursting out of his chest. Merle nailed it with a blast of Stoli from the super soaker.

Merle and Nommy looked down to see Boikat spitting and gagging. "I had my mouth open!" Panted the furball, between gags.

Merle pulled out his list and scratched off "Zathras." Then he thought, "where'd Wildcard go?"

Posted By: MerleZ Apr 04, 2005 - 01:26 pm

Back to Q and Veneno, as they trudged down their tunnel, Veneno was becoming annoyed. "Stop that."

"What?" Said Q, trying to look innocent, while also looking puzzled. Strangely, the roque wasn't aware he was "doing" anything, besides walking.

"Humming," gritted Veneno.

"Huh?" Q apparently was unaware he'd been humming "Over Hill, over dale, we will hit the dusty trail, as those caissons, go rolling, along" ad infinitum for at least ten minutes. "Sorry."

Suddenly the rogue stopped, and stooped and picked up something lying on the tunnel floor. He aimed, and fired the weapon at the wall.

"Splat!" A squid, smelling strongly of Stoli, slowly slid down the wall. "Yup, this is Merle's Jackhammer. Wonder what this means?"

Posted By: MerleZ Apr 04, 2005 - 01:28 pm

And back in the PATD, Angry and Sammy were hastily hanging a banner that read, "Cungratchulashuns, Nurolannis!"

Posted By: Qray Apr 05, 2005 - 11:00 pm

”Do you hear humming?”
-One Q-clone to another while wandering the abandoned Amusement Park Asteroid.

“...sure, any ordinary friend will pick you up out of a pile of your own ick and send ya on home...but true friends, one’s that’ll stand with you against some really ugly odds as you get bloody...those are hard to find...”
-Q talking of friendship at Lastone’s funeral (who later turned out NOT to be dead.)

Pulling out his list and scratching off both Zathras AND the tastebuds of Boikat, Merle was distracted by WildCard.

“What?” the cardweaver finally asked as the mage stared at her.

“You were humming.”

WildCard seemed genuinely surprised. “I was?”

Meanwhile...

A similar tunnel.

“Q!”

“What?”

“You’re humming again!”

“I was?”

Veneno ran her hand through her long black hair as she tryied to calm herself.

“Seriously, Ven,” the rogue said honestly. Perhaps for the first time that week. “I didn’t know I was doing it.”

Finally pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she hefted her assault-soaker and continued down the tunnel. “Just stop it, ok?”

Behind the ex-MIB agent, in the darkness of the tunnel, Q’s lips curled into a smile. The rogue was a bit of a conundrum. Especially if he considered you his friend. He would go to extreme lengths to do whatever he could to help you. From standing with you in battle against a horde of bad guys, to giving you his last dime, or “found” credit card. Even the shirt off his back. Which to be fair, wasn’t much. This author feels the man has a thing for walking around without clothes on. As is evident with the incident on Comstock IV, but I digress.

On the other side of the coin, and most likely a coin Q had purloined, the man could be an insufferable pain in the back of your front. Unreliable to the point that his name was entered in the dictionary under the definition of “undependable,” the one thing the man could be counted on was to exploit a friends annoyance. In this case the target was Veneno. The annoyance...what, haven’t you been paying attention?

“Rogue!” Veneno growled through gritted teeth.

The rogue stopped humming again and gave an unconvincing “sorry” as he passed the woman to take the lead. A grin firmly planted on his mug.

“If your sorry, wipe that grin off your face.”

Looking over his shoulder, Q showed his usual lack of restraint and fired off a short burst from his Supersoaker.

The response from Veneno was silent and scary. The woman just stood with a soaked shirt and grim expression until finally...she charged. “Oh you are so gonna die!”


Still laughing, Q dove and rolled to the side as he fired again. Getting a glancing blow off of Veneno’s back, but the woman countered and backed him up against the wall. “You do of course realize you just wasted vodka?”

The humor drained from Q’s face. “Oh smeg! Your right!” he cursed and advanced on Veneno, but was brought up short by a drawn pistol from her back holster.

“I don’t think so, rogue,” the ex-MIB agent said with gun barrel under Q’s chin.

“But,” Q tried. His face inches away from the vodka dripping shirt. “It’s VODKA!”

“Your own fault,” Veneno countered. Now smiling sweetly at the him.

“Aw man!” Q whined. Kicking at the dirt and taking up his supersoaker, once more took the lead down the tunnel. Mumbling the entire time. “Never get to have no fun, never get to do what I want. No Q. Don’t do that Q. Put your pants on Q. Where’s my car, Q? Rotten, no good...”

Veneno shook her head at the rogue as she followed and realizing the smile he just brought to her face, whispered her thanks soft enough that the man couldn’t hear. “Thanks, Q.”

Posted By: Qray Apr 05, 2005 - 11:03 pm

"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call."
-Valentinez AlkalinellaXifax...er, you get the idea. From “Trigun.”

”This ship is insane, drunk, and armed! Much like it's captain!”
-Veneno, commenting on Q’s Leafhopper ship. (Thanks again Boikat ;-]) )

On board the Excalibur, Sheridan was getting impatient. “How long does it take to scan a planet?”

“Open a channel,” Aglaranna said to a crewman and keyed the mic. “Raphael.”

Getting no response, the Elven noble waited a few moments and tried again. “Raphael.”

Still getting no response, the woman shook her head. “He couldn’t have changed already...”

Sheridan shrugged. Really wishing he was back at the museum.

Aglaranna keyed the mic again. “Hello ship formerly known as Raphael.”

“You talkin’ to me, lady?”

“Er maybe. To whom am I addressing, please?”

“Bubba!”

Sheridan rolled his eyes and considered having the Excalibur’s weapons trained on the sentient Leafhopper. “Of course it is.”

“Bubba,” Aglaranna continued. “Have you scanned the planet?”

“Planet?”

“Oh no, we are NOT going to do this again,” Sheridan said evenly.

“Chill frodo” the ship said. “I scanned it.”

“Frodo?” Aglaranna asked looking at Sheridan. Who just shrugged.

“Care to share?” she asked into the mic.

“Well,” the ship began. “It’s a class E planet. Twenty two million feros of water, slightly polluted oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere consisting of...”

“Lifeforms!” Sheridan yelled into the mic. “Tell us about the lifeforms scanned!”

“Ohhhhh...LIFEFORMS. Well, I scanned thriteen million, two thousand and ninety two dung beetles. Three of which have hiccups. Eight million, four hundred and eighteen thousand, five hundred and two Terinx butterflies...”

“Sentient lifeforms!” Sheridan spat through gritted teeth.

“Sentient? Ohhh, well you didn’t ask for...”

“What!?!?!?!?”

“Hey, what ya got against butterflies?”

Posted By: Qray Apr 05, 2005 - 11:05 pm

Lord...what the hell am I doing here?”
- Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

"I'm not that trusting. I kept my finger on the trigger the whole time."
- Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

The frivolity in the tunnel had once more settled down to the monotonous trudging it had been before as Q and Veneno relentlessly continued on. Up until the point the tunnel widened slightly as it rounded a bend and the pair stumbled upon a middle aged woman a bit out of shape. Well, not OUT of shape. I mean, she had a shape, the shape just wasn’t, well...ah skip it.

“So your just a circus patron that went looking for the w.c. and got lost?” Veneno asked yet again. Still unconvinced.

“Yeah,” the stranger said. “Listen, could you mind lower those guns?”

“Sure,” Q said pleasantly as he dropped the barrel of his supersoaker only to draw his Kil-O-Zap.

“Er, that’s really not what I meant.”

“Yeah well,” Q said scratching the side of his head with the ouch-ouch end of the supersoaker. “You’re gonna get that.”

“Well if you could lower that gun too, it’d be...”

“What were you doing when we found you?” Veneno asked. Her gun sights never leaving the other woman.

“Doing,” the woman fidgeted. “I wasn’t doing, I mean, I was just looking for a way out...”

“What’s that on your face?” Q interrupted. Squinting.

“What?” the woman asked as she wiped her face and her fingers came away slightly whitened.

“Pancake makeup,” Q hissed. Veneno firing before the last of the words left his mouth. The vodka splashing harmlessly off the woman. Drawing the Kil-O-Zap and back holstered ballistics she carried, but never getting them into play. Her hands going to her head. Holding tight as she screamed out. The strangers laughter filling the tunnel.

“You never should’ve left the service of the Order, Veneno,” the woman laughed haughtily. “MY service!”

The ex-MIB agent dropped to a knee. Her guns falling to the ground. Perspiration beading a brow furrowed in pain and concentration from the mental assault of the other woman. The battle against fear.

“Hey, I want to play too,” Q hissed through gritted teeth with no humor at all to his voice. Firing off a Kil-O-Zap shot and watching with even less humor as the bolt of energy began to bend and turn away to hit the tunnel wall as it neared it’s target. The stranger.

“You are even less a threat than the Portuguese whelp!” the stranger laughed at Q. Stretching her hands out towards Veneno and seeming to enjoy the increased cries of anguish from the woman.

Q shrugged. Fired off another round. This time a bit right of dead center and watched as it did the exact same thing as the first. Curved away from the stranger at the last moment to strike the wall. As if the middle aged woman was surrounded by a...

Drawing his second Kil-O-Zap, the rogue began firing off volley after volley at the stranger. The sound of her rising laughter filling the tunnel as each and every shot went wide.

The rogue ignored the laughter. His eyes watching each and every shot. He was doing anything but firing randomly. He watched how each shot curved and bent. How they were deflected.

“Hold on Veneno,” he said quietly...evenly to the woman. “Focus.”

“No,” Veneno cried out to who Q wasn’t sure. “Not again...not again...”

Finally ending his assault, Q dropped the barrel of one Kil-O-Zap and aimed the other well away from his target. Pulling the trigger, he watched the energy bolt curve towards the stranger and graze her shoulder.

The strangers eyes went wide and she grasped her shoulder. “How?”

Q shrugged and then fired another round well away from the stranger. Hitting her in the hand.

“No!” the woman screamed and ran towards the wall.

“Stop her!” Veneno yelled. Able to think again now that the stranger’s assault on her had been stopped, she grabbed her guns, but too late. The stranger ran right through the wall.

“Well that was different,” Q mused. Examining the area the stranger had been huddled over. “Hey,” he said holding up a small, metallic disc. “This is a...”

“Come on!” Veneno shouted grabbing his sleeve and pulling him to the wall. “The gate she created stays open for thirty seconds!”

“Gate?”

Posted By: Qray Apr 05, 2005 - 11:07 pm

”If I die, then I will die well dressed.”
-Major Jean Villeneuve. American Revolutionary War.

“Thirty three minutes,” Nextolast said to his friends. Getting nods out of Vagabond, Harley, Warp, and Gunphur.

“Thirty three minutes to what?” came the familiar voice from behind them and Harley nearly spit out her vodka.

“No,” Q said. Leveling a Kil-O-Zap at the table as he noticed hands moving towards concealed areas of clothing. Even when they moved back to the table, he kept his gun trained on them. “I said, thirty three minutes to what?”

The young funsters seated around the table said nothing. Just exchanged glances with each other. “They’re not going to hip us to what it is, Veneno,” the rogue said to someone past the table and the ex-MIB agent came into sight. Her Kil-O-Zap and heavily modified Ruger drawn and aimed at the table.

“I heard,” she said without emotion.

Harley’s eyes widened even more at the appearance of Veneno. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Q.

“So here I was in this tunnel,” the rogue said. “Battling this Dark Clown, when she beats feet through the wall. Wow! Says I. Right through a wall. Well, Veneno here, she says we’ve got to run through the wall after her. THROUGH THE WALL! Can you beat that!”

The youngsters said nothing. Just continued to exchange glances as their nervousness increased.

“So anywho,” Q continued. Not missing a beat. “We run through this wall see. I mean we were trapped in this tunnel. Even running after a psycho loony make-up-less clown looked better. But slap me silly and call me Susan, we exit the clown gate and end up here. Back at the PATD! Freaky! Ain’t it!”

“Say, Mister,” Harley tried, but Q cut her off.

“So I see these young funsters at this booth, see. They look REAL familiar, but I just can’t place em. They’re trying to act all nonchalant. That alone, the fact that they were trying to look like they weren’t trying to look obvious, I mean, come on...”

“Q.” said Veneno.

“Yeah, yeah,” the rogue said waving her off and continued. “Anywho, being all roguish and such, I creep up on em unawares. All sneaky and such and listen in on their hushed conversation.”

Warp glanced to Harley. The look of concern on her face evident.

“So what’s going on in thirty three...oops,” Q said looking at his watch. “Fifteen minutes?”